Yesterday, I took the first look at my reassembled dream
about a runaway VW bus. (You can scroll down to my last posts to follow the
process.) What struck me most about this dream is that it seems to be
describing a reversion to an earlier way of dealing with my life. The house it
pictured is one that I no longer live in, and the misbehaving old vehicle is
one that is neither glamorous nor sporty; it just never stops running. The
dream even shows that the vehicle isn’t safe. No one (meaning none of the
characters in my dream, hence, me) intended this vehicle to move. But not only
is it in motion, it is picking up momentum. Inside are two parts of me that
have had a hard time and have reached the lowest level; they are trying to
anesthetize themselves.
Some thoughts
It sounds pretty dire. Somehow, it seems that I have lost my
forward direction and have regressed. The dream even points out that the
negative trend is picking up speed and gaining momentum. How bad is this?
Most dreams are snapshots of one’s state of mind in
the present moment. Even when dreams recur over a long period of time,
they only come back because the state of mind that existed when the first dream
was triggered still exists. That negative state of mind is still there, so the
dream comes back, describing again what is not yet resolved in
the “now.” It is true that, if dreams recur over long periods of time,
they tend to become more emphatic as they repeat themselves. That is only
because their messages have not been heeded and dealt with. Because of that,
the dreams become ever more pronounced and unsettling.
In my case, this was the first time I had this dream, so my
job is to look at my state of mind in the present moment, and
analyze what the dream might be in reference to. That was easy: Anyone who is
devoted to personal change and improvement takes occasional steps into the unfamiliar
or unknown. It is inevitable that there will be second thoughts, especially
when the new space one is occupying seems odd or insecure. “Is this
really what I want?” “Is this move really wise?” “How can I simply drop
everything I was doing before?” “What if I run out of resources? Out of money?”
These are all worrisome concerns that tend to accompany
change. When these concerns become the dominant thought pattern, then the
change is in jeopardy. And that’s what my dream was addressing: I was worrying
because I had gone back to “living” in a place that was an old one. I was “driving”
a “vehicle” that was not my current mode of transportation. And the vehicle was
being “occupied” by parts of me that were wounded, had reached a low, and were
trying to anesthetize themselves.
Thanks, dream! Thanks for the heads-up. I hadn’t realized I
was slipping.
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